Thursday, October 13, 2011
Finding Patience Lost
"Before I had children I was a great parent"...or so the adage goes. Though I would like to think that on many days I am a great parent, there are those days when I have to wave the white flag of defeat and wonder where I went wrong to cause such commotion in my house.
When my first child was born I was a veritable saint. My patience saw no limits and my energy was without bounds. (He moved to live with his father before the birth of my second so it was like I was starting from scratch as a new mama.) With my second child, I still felt as though I had the tiger by its' proverbial tail. Though some days were a rough finish I knew I was doing good. I felt like I had it all under control. When my partner and I linked our lives, a sweet little girl of 6 months came with him. Though there were (and are) unique challenges to a child being raised in more than one household, things were still chugging merrily along. Then I got pregnant with my youngest and I must say things have definitely shifted.
Though I am still a lovely mother, it seems I have lost a bit of my savvy, my shimmer, my edge. My patience has hit an all time low. I am more of a grumbly mommy than I ever knew I could be. I know I am not perfect, but it took me quite by surprise to see how much of my mommy shine has dimmed. So what is a mommy to do? Read, read, READ! I have become the guru of parenting books. I find that some days, when the baby has cried all night and the older two won't stop bickering, practicing patience is much easier with a script written by someone else!
I have read many books recently on this subject but my favorites are...
Buddhism For Mothers
Raising Your Spirited Child
Above All, Be Kind
Non Violent Communication
These books are like a gift from heaven! It's not that they teach me how to parent or how to be peaceful. What they do is remind me that this and everything else I need to raise sweet, loving, wonderful children lies within me and always has. These books are like maps for within on the journey of finding patience lost.
On days when you feel like you need a little assist what do you do? What books have helped you?