Over the years I have run into a frustration within me that is constant. It neither overwhelms nor recedes but sits quietly in my field of view watching, listening, waiting. This frustration stems from my deep need to be true to me, all of me, in every aspect, every arena, every appearance be they virtual or visual. The thing is that within me lives a proverbial community of "me's". I'm not saying that I have some sort of mental lapse going on; quite to the contrary. I have a rock solid core and around it dances my many dreams, ideas, visual representations; all of me in stark relief!
I am the ecological warrior fighting to breath new life into this our home Earth.
I am the Doula; the battle ready birth advocate. I will fight to my last breath to bring the right birth to each woman that she is meant to have without the restrictions that some "money hungry medical machine" wishes to place on this woman's body...this such a sacred time and place which was never meant to be the frontlines for political or fiscal battles.
I am the eco concious mom who feeds her baby's from scratch and wants to make all of their shoes and clothes and toys (aim high!). The mom who Homeschools and cloth diapers and ask for no ones permission or approval on how she raises her children.
I am the once professional dancer who craves the studio; to move to drums or piano so long as I am moving. I crave ballet and modern as deeply as I crave belly dance and fire dance and yet it all seems so right. I crave the pulse moving from within me pushing me toward a wholeness that I have found no where else; the desire to move so great that sometimes the movements escape me before I have time or a choice to stop them (isn't it funny to dance in the store or in line at the bank because you are compelled to dance RIGHT NOW!?).
I am hippy, steam punk, back to the land, "burner", festie girl.
I am beyond description.
I am the author of books (soon to be published) who has ideas waking her in the middle of the night.
I am a crafter, a designer, a DREAMER!
I am the woman who blends into the back drop so well you may question if I was ever there.
I am the girl who loves to dress up and be so brash, outrageous in my opinions and ideals, honest to a fault; a girl you have no doubt you have met because you are still vibrating long after she is gone.
And if we are connected by the bonds of deep friendship or love I am the most fierce, most loyal person you could ever have in your corner.
I am...
WELCOME to me!
Wow, Ruth. The introspection required to KNOW who we each really are is enormous, so enormous that few of us ever achieve it. I am still working on that part of myself--the discovery of who I was born to be. Thankyou for sharing this aspect of your beautiful soul.
ReplyDeletePatti thank you. This post has been in my draft section for nearly 3 months waiting until I felt brave enough to share it. Yesterday I looked at my sweet little post and felt that since the words had come to me they were meant to be shared. Thank you for honoring this in me!
DeleteI love you !!!!
ReplyDeleteMarie, I am blessed to have a wonderful friend inmy life like you! You see all of these pieces of me and more and love and respect them equally! May I do you the same in our friendship.
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